Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
