Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
