I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
