but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
