How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
His hands were made for my vagina.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
