i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
