i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
