wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
