kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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