This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Randomize
