____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
