The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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