so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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