I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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