so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
