So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
