Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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