Where did you get a picture of my penis
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
