Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
