Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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