Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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