roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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