We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
