Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
