we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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