Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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