a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
