he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
