just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
