hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Fuck appropriateness.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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