clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
