you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
