im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Boobs speak an international language.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
