i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
