so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
