I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
