I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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