There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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