My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
