There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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