those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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