You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
