Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
