i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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