Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
