Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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