walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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