The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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