It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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