How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
