This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
