the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
