I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
