Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
